Dear father,

I wish I didn't have to call you that. I wish we weren't related. The amount you have hurt me and the number of awful memories I have that are your fault is terrible. Every day I struggle with what you did to mum and how you managed to singlehandedly tear your family apart. You lied to them. As a result they thought I was being arrogant and now they won't talk to me and it hurts because we are supposed to be related but I feel they could be strangers, just people I walk past in the street.

It hurts when you try to use me as a messenger to ger to mum and to find out about what's going on here. You say hi and then it's just a torrent of questions about her and the others. Do you feel that because you made me somehow this love is unconditional? Because you are wrong. You never care about what grades I'm getting or how my day has been or if I'm okay or if I need help. You never ever ring me to actually talk to me. You don't imput here at all. I wish you would just be a little more interested in me and my life. You don't ask about it, though.

What you said about Mikolaj was hurtful. If you must disagree with my choices please at least be a little more tactful or subtle. You have no idea how hard it hits me when you ring me to complain. In my Christmas card you wrote "with all my love". I don't think you meant it.

When you love something you take an interest in it and try to take care of it and not offend it. But you, you hardly ever ring and when you do it's not to talk about me- it's never about me any more. Every conversation we have revolves around my mother. You have no need to remind me she exists, dad. She's the only person who has always looked after me, and she works herself into the ground trying to provide for this household and for me so I can continue my education. But you do nothing. You don't want to know, and you're a terrible actor- you can't even pretend to care or to listen. How dare you talk to your friends about me and what I think and what I do. You and I have NEVER had a conversation. Never. You don't even know who I am any more.