I miss you all the time. I keep doing things and seeing things that remind me of you. Why do I still miss you when I miss other people? How does it work? Were you okay? Are you cross? Are you proud? Are you there? Do you miss me too? Do you see mum? Is it okay to cry?
I am trying to make up with dad. I miss you. I am trying to be better but it's really difficult especially when mum doesn't have the time to sit and talk. Thankyou for teaching me manners and how to be old-fashioned, I like it, I prefer it. Thankyou for being brave. Thankyou for not crying. I hope it didn't hurt you either. I watched you and I was miserable because there's nowhere to escape to. I can't come and see you whenever I like. I miss Christmas and family and everything. It's all gone. I hate it here. I wanted to come and live with you so badly when they came to stay but they came because you were gone. I love lavender. I love leaves and gardens. I love you.
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